Our Little Man is 4 weeks old today, and technically one month old on Monday, since he was born August 5th.
And I love him with all of my being. So much so it aches. I can't believe the miracle we prayed so long and hard for is in our arms. And he is wonderful and perfect.
Motherhood is definitely rocking my world in amazing, beautiful, wonderful and challenging ways. This adventure is like nothing else I've ever experienced and I am humbled everyday. My ability to love harder, deeper and selflessly also grows with each passing day with this new little love of my life.
Sometimes motherhood feels so lonely, at the same time so fitting. It's like he's so brand new to us, but at the same time he feels like he's been our family forever.
Mr. Charming's work was beyond amazing and he was able to be at home for a lot of the time during our first two weeks home as I healed and we adjusted. Four weeks in, I am learning how to be on a newborns schedule, and as I spoke of being humbled daily, I have learned that in the days when all I've done is snuggled my son, fed him many times over and bathed only one of us (that would be him, haha) that I can be OK with that in this season of my life.
Which I'll admit has been really hard for me. I've felt guilt over not performing well as a wife. I've felt guilt over not blogging and Instagramming. I see so many other new moms in my circles already on outings with their newborns Snapchatting and blog posting and I've had to pray and let go of comparing. I'm not them. And I needn't be. I need to adjust to motherhood at my own pace and possibly when Little Man starts napping again (for the past few days he's found it fun to nap no more than 20 min spurts, which means "sleep when they sleep" doesn't exist for me right now) I can be more productive.
But in these moments, instead of being frustrated or feeling guilty, I consistently strive to turn that into feeling blessed that I can relish in more time singing with him, enjoy his snuggles when the only place he will sleep is on my chest and be thankful that he's at an age where he needs me more than anything else in this world.
I know those moments are so fleeting.
He is growing like crazy, and at his Naturopathic Ped appointment he weighed in at 9 lbs 14 oz! We had to supplement on formula for a while, which I wasn't crazy about, but it was for the health of the babes from him being so jaundice in the hospital and I was just given the green light to start breastfeeding exclusively since he's gaining so well and has grown almost 2 full inches!
He has also hit all the 4 week milestones and has even reached 2 of the 8 week milestones AND a 3 month milestone! Proud of my little over achiever. #NaturalBirthMama.
His baby book also arrived today from Land Of Nod (can you say OBSESSED with that store?) and I can't wait to start filling out all of his little moments.
I am praying for all of you other new mamas out there. Those of you that are sitting in the darkness, nursing your little humans, praying over them while also praying for sleep. I pray that you will find your tribe of mamas, and that I too, will find mine.
And may I continue to look to God and be thankful for this season. This chapter, where we are at right now and kiss my little blessing a million times over.