The holidays are a mix of magic and remembrance for us. 

Magic, now that our miracle baby is here with us. Remembrance of what the holidays were to us for the years leading up to him joining our family. I remember the past holidays full of "when will you grow your family?", seeing the joy of other families with little ones and the added "babies look good on you two. It's time." Each comment crushing my soul a little more. We'd been married four years, and everyone in the world (or so it seemed) wanted to see us with children. 

The thing that most didn't know at the time was that we WERE trying. And we too wanted to see us with children. We had been trying. For three years we tried, both with and without medical intervention, to grow our family. 

​The Christmas season of 2015 brought much joy when we found out we were expecting, however, just three short weeks later we'd learn that the baby was not viable and we experienced a great loss a week before Christmas. In those moments I was grateful to be surrounded with family, holiday obligations and business, but my heart ached for the "almost". 

A year later, almost exactly to the day, we found out we were expecting Grey and I literally fell to my knees in gratefulness and pure joy. We had changed our protocol with our doctors and something worked to bring us our sweet boy. 

Fast forward to this year and we are celebrating our second Christmas with our sweet little guy and we are now looking to the future and what we ultimately want our family to look like. 

We know there is a realistic chance that we could, again, struggle and are open to options that may help us conceive faster in natural, non-invasive ways that don't cost the large pricetag that IVF and other methods bring along. 

Which is why I'm thankful for discreet over the counter options like Stork OTC. Found at Target in the family planning aisle, Stork OTC is a product that aids in helping couples with certain issues conceive faster, naturally. It’s cervical cap insemination technique helps deliver sperm as close to the cervical opening as possible, increasing the chances of fertilization by up to 20%. 

Just $59.99 at most retailers, (I got mine at Target, because I practically live there this time of year), it's a small price to pay for a higher chance of us growing our family. To me, I can't put a price on that. 

You can also find it online at www.StorkOTC.com. 

I don't think I've ever felt the Christmas spirit as much as I have this year at Christmastime. 

Christmas with our almost one and a half year old is one of the most joyous, expectant, beautiful things I've ever experienced. Each morning, in his Christmas themed jammies (you know I bought them all), we sip tea and eat muffins at Grey plays with the "choo choo" grandpa brought him early and it feels like Christmas morning. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

In addition to the joy of our sweet boy, we have so many blessings to be thankful for. A roof over our heads. Warm clothing. Healthy food in our bellies. Clean water. Friends and family we adore. Some of our best friends are to be married soon. And Mr. Charming and I recently sponsored two children, in Indonesia and Mexico respectively, who we plan, pray and hope to sponsor through high school. They are currently 3 and 4 years old, and are beyond adorable. We will be helping them go to school, get medical care, attend a church and Bible school, get nutritious food and supplements and let them know there are people in this world, in addition to their parents who are working so hard but who are victims are poverty, who love them and are praying for them. 

I hope that these actions will deliver an example of eternal serving that Greyson can grow up with. I pray that these decisions his father and I make, especially at a time of year that is so muddled with materialism, will plant seeds in his heart that will help grow roots that will keep him on a firm foundation of faith, servanthood and loving Christ. 

Before we had Grey, and through our struggle with infertility, God put it on my heart to care for a child that wasn't biologically mine. I really struggled with what that meant for a long time, as we so badly wanted a baby that was a piece of my husband and I. I think I had started looking at other options (foster care, adoption) before Mr. Charming, but I'm so glad we kept trying. God's plan is so, so good. 

And with his blessing of provision, we weren't able to help just one more child, but two. And maybe, down the road it will look different, or another child will share our roof, but for now this is the way we feel called to love on "siblings" around the world for our little man. 

I pray, as you count down these 14 days left until Christmas, that you can truly soak in the magic of the season. And that you too, will follow your heart and Christ's calling for how you can be a blessing to "the least of these." 

For more information on how we got involved, www.compassion.com is who we went through through our church home, CCV, www.ccv.church.  

And P.S. LOOOOOOK at our nugget LAST Christmas. He's growing so fast. 

What a beautiful, exhausting, joyful, emotional sixteen months it has been as a mother. 

I count myself blessed every moment I get to spend with this little guy who is becoming such a spunky, quirky, cute, funny little person. No one tells ya all the feels you will have EVERY DAY playing this role, and so I thought I'd compile a little entry of what motherhood is to me. To inspire others, as a keepsake for myself and to lighten the usually heavy conversations that can arise in this season. 

Motherhood is...

• One shaved leg because the nap ended early. It's also a great reason to wear yoga pants everyday and dub it your "momiform".
• Not being able to put any gifts under the tree until Christmas morning or ornaments on the bottom half of your tree, but this time of year becomes THE MOST magical it's ever been since your own childhood so none of that matters. Bare tree and all. 
• Never getting to finish your sandwich because toddler hands are always nearby, while at the same time it's feeling proud your little one is eagerly asking for the spinach and tomato wrap that's packed full of nutrients. 
• It's loss of sleep, muscle tone, me time, and time with your spouse - but it's gaining a new way to experience love, the most precious gift from God, a new little buddy, newfound laughter and the earth's greatest joy. So really, who cares if your pants don't fit the same and you need GOBS of concealer to look like you're rested? 

​
Afterall, they're only small a little while, so soak up every moment, love them hard and enjoy the ride. 
​