international day of happiness

Today is the International Day Of Happiness and it has me reflecting on my own personal journey with what "happiness" is to me. As someone who always strived for "perfection", I use to shortchange myself on the happiness meter. I was of the mind-set, "when I have all my ducks in a row, I can be happy." When I get that vacation... I'll be happy. When I produce my next album... I'll be happy. When I finally meet the right guy... I'll be happy. When I can remodel my place... I'll be happy. 

This is toxic. And it starves you of true, real, pure, joy.

I didn't learn about true joy, the kind of joy that comes from being content in the NOW until I was 30 years old. It was a process I began to work on at about 25, but it took the inspiration of Mr. Charming and my deep connection by being saved by Christ that I truly began to understand about CONTENTMENT over HAPPINESS. And JOY over PERFECTION. 

So much can be gained from smiling in the moment. When the house is a wreck, or the paychecks a little short, or my patience is wearing thin on my journey to being a mother or finishing my next round of school., I learned that if I don't smile for the blessings I've ALREADY been given, I'm not appreciating my GOOD. I'm shutting out my good, my happiness, waiting for something that may or may not happen. And I learned that that's not living at all. 

Aside from the thieves of happiness that include resentment, dependency on anyone else but God for our joy and perfectionism, another big one is self-doubt. I love what Mind Body Green had to say about self-doubt as it pertains to happiness... 

If you don’t think you can do it, you won’t. Whatever limits you perceive are the ones you’ve placed on yourself. Consciously or unconsciously, it’s a choice.

This is such a big one. Especially for someone like me who strives daily to recover from anxiety. I noticed too, when I'm around negative people, they can zap our happiness, feeding into our self-doubt. Below I've made a list of ten ways to infuse joy into today, and into your everyday. Feel free to share, like & comment on how to you infuse happiness into your everyday. 

• Pray
  My number one. On days I get caught up in my "busy" and don't connect with the source of my joy, I can get frustrated when I don't feel content. Making time, sometimes even just a moment to speak His name, can ground me and make me feel happier. 
• Play
  I learned a lot about the importance of playing this past year. And oddly enough, incorporating play into my life, like we did when were kids, has helped my anxiety more times than certain therapy tactics. Get outside, in the sunshine, feel the grass on your feet. Toss a ball. Color a book. Play with the kids for an hour. The most important thing is just to DETACH from your stressors and don't feel guilty for giving yourself that thirty minutes, one hour, whatever it may be and just play. 

• Make Your Passion Your Work
  This one is not one that can just be done in a day. For me, it took many years to take this huge leap of faith and dive into writing full time and trusting God on His path for me. But we all have to start somewhere if we want to do work that we love. That we are passionate about, and that we feel will serve Him and others well. Start small. Take an hour in the evenings to think about what you truly want to do. Pray about it. Meditate on your purpose. Or just do it as a hobby for now.
• Love
  I love this one. I use to get angry when people throughout my day would be rude or negative. Now I just have the urge to hug them. But if we love more, it will release more endorphins that promote a sense of well-being and inner-peace. Deep breathe if you feel your patience growing short, and just remember to have the word LOVE at the forefront of your mind always. Be kind. Reach out. Serve. Help. Loving others has been proven to make you feel better. That's a win/win. 
• Socialize
  This is a big one for me and it's one of my 2015 Intentions. I've talked about this before, and how I use to carry so much guilt if my time wasn't spent solely working, striving, learning. I've learned that our relationships, family, love, friends... that's what makes our lives truly rich. I'm not telling you to drop responsibility and hang out with your friends all day. But keep your social interactions a priority and schedule time with those you love just like any other meeting in your life. 
• Eat Clean
  This one is SO IMPORTANT. If I haven't stressed it enough before :) Food is our fuel. If you are putting in processed, chemical-laden, sugar filled empty caloric food, you of course won't perform to any level of potential you could be. Feed your body the food it wants and needs to perform at it's optimal level so that all of your feel good happiness hormones can work their magic. It's been proven that eating a whole, healthy lifestyle, free of gluten, dairy, sugar, grains and your particular inflammatory offenders can lift brain fog, eliminate anxiety and depression, and give us increased energy. 
• Happy Up Your Space
  My office is pink. When Mr. Charming built me my home office, complete with chandelier and swagged tulle curtains, I knew I wanted it ultra-feminine to inspire my fashion writing and blog. It's my one space in the house that's purely mine so I made it a feminine, inspiration oasis. The walls are adorned with motivational quotes, scripture and pictures of those I love. And I always keep it organized and clean so I can work most efficiently. 
• Get Moving
  I will admit, exercise falls to the end of this list for me. Writing in an office 10 hours a day and then taking care of our home and preparing 21 meals a week, I get tired and I don't workout like I should from time to time. But ANYTHING helps. Take a short walk to get fresh air, pop into evening yoga, stretch in the mornings, run with your kids after school, or get in a couple solid weight lifting or cardio sessions in the week. Or, when you play (see above), make it active play. Sports, swimming or running with your fur babies.
• Be Still
  As important it is to move, it's equally important to be still. Taking time in your morning, or evening, or optimally both to have quiet time. For me that looks like; in the morning, before I head into my office, I spend a few moments with my fur babies, Princeton and Charlie, we cuddle, we get some fresh air outside, I make a smoothie or cook breakfast and then read my devotionals and pray at the breakfast table. Then I am ready to start my day. At night, I do deep breathing exercises and meditate with a scripture track or do yoga. It clears my mind of the day and gets my body moving after sitting for so long. 
• Smile
  Simply smile. The physical action of smiling send signals to your brain that you are happy. There are times when I'm having a not so great day, or I'm stuck in traffic, or the dog ate my shoe. Sometimes I will literally stop, connect to my thoughts, look upward and just smile.