A Raw Post. (and I don't mean food)

This is probably one of the hardest posts I've posted on this blog so far. 

1.) Because it's deeply personal. 
2.) A lot of people feel the need to weigh in with all their opinions (or judgment, and I've had the thrill of taking more of the latter) on this topic. 
3.) Because it's deeply personal.

The reason I am writing this post is also three-fold. 
1.) This blog started as a journal, it was once very personal and I want it to stay that way. 
2.) Finding love in community is healthy. 
3.) Opening up is healing.

I have followed along with so many other womens journeys.  Women who put it all out there. Whether its a food blog, a mommy blog, or a fashion blog.  We all have a story to tell.  We all have our reasons for writing about the things that we do.  For starting a journal, or a blog.  For walking the path that we walk.

Next week I am scheduled to be a major blog conference that I am so excited to attend.  At this conference I hope to connect with others who are on a similar journey with me, as I do find myself to be the "odd man out" at most events, vacations, etc.  I want to speak openly with these women, I want to love these women, and I can't expect them to fully know me, especially since the entire weekend is centered around our blogs, if I'm not entirely up front about who I am.  And one of the main reasons I'm fanatical about my health. 

You may recall an earlier post, from almost a year ago exactly. To Baby Or Not To Baby.  When I was starting hormone tinctures, and testing my ovulation, where that happy little stick face said I was ovulating every month. 

I'm not so sure about him. 

I want a baby.  That's the thought that this is centered around.  I'm letting go and letting God, but sometimes it consumes my emotional womanly side and I get sad.  Sad that we have been trying for a year.  Sad that I thought the moment I started trying it would happen (we prevented it for years, because of enjoying our newlywed status, traveling and our careers, we thought for sure if we slipped, BAM! baby).  Sad that I so badly want to give my husband his own flesh and blood child, and we don't know why it hasn't happened yet. 

Let go and let God. 

I'm not seeking advice. Or sympathy. Or answers, even.  I'm just seeking community.  Women who are going along their own path, that I can talk with. Share with. Learn from. And maybe even teach something to. Because isn't that what we're all here for?

To live? To learn? To love?