Tips To Adjusting To Life With A Food-Restrictive Loved One

It was late 2011, and most of you know my story, I had to change my diet completely. Completely. 

Which was a shock to not only me, but to my family and new husband. So much of our relationship in the beginning was based on experiences. Travel & culinary sampling was a big part of our adventures and I was terrified to how I, and we, would adjust. 

My health of course came first and having a wonderfully supportive best friend as my spouse made it all do-able. You can see our story of how we work with different diet here. Our story was featured this week on The Today Show Food Club and below I share seven tips of how to make loving someone with food restrictions a little easier and a little more understandable. 

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• We know it's inconvenient - As the person who has the restrictions, whether it be a food allergy, food sensitivity or eating disorder, we know its inconvenient. We don't want to be a burden. We know its inconvenient to make us special food at your party or when we have to dine somewhere safe. But we appreciate more than anything your kindness and patience to keep us safe. And when you make us a safe treat or choose a restaurant that practices safe techniques, that means the world. 
• Share in new adventures - I'm always a "look on the bright side" person. I was scared of all the changes at first, what it would do to my marriage or my friendships, and I've learned that we can make it about new adventures. Finding clean, healthy food we may have never tried before when we could eat "anything", and our bodies are definitely thanking us for it. 
• Be sensitive, supportive & patient - We appreciate this so much. My husbands support and patience has been world-changing for me after having to so drastically change how I eat. He will drive to 5 different stores if I'm craving a certain food. Which I never ask of him, but that support speaks love. My sister also made a Paleo Thanksgiving for me the first holiday season I was dealing with all of this. That is in my heart forever. 
• Gifts - A girlfriend of mine for Christmas ordered me special Paleo pizza crust and adorable kitchen accessories because she knows I take so many photos for Nosh & Nurture. Another friend, who has a food allergy child, packed me an allergen-free goodie bag for a roadtrip to Disneyland one year. It was these little gifts that made my heart smile. Just keep in mind, that gifts can be tricky if you don't know the exact diet restrictions or level of sensitivity. So when in doubt, ask, or gift a gift card to their favorite health food store or safe restaurant. 
• Let us take the reigns - It's frustrating for friends or family to try to navigate and choose the right place to eat, the right dish to cook or the right place to book when traveling. To make it easier, safer and fair for everyone let the food sensitive person take the reigns. on restaurant reservations and travel bookings, while you take the reigns on booking the excursions, picking the movie, etc. That way everyone gets to choose an activity and it doesn't feel one sided. 
• Listen - Simple, but hard for some. If you have questions, ask. If we need to talk or share concerns, listen. If you don't understand, simply just listening or trying to sympathize is huge.  
• We're still us! - This one is the most important. For the longest time, I felt like this BECAME me. I had constant anxiety when shopping, when eating out and especially when at every party people would ask me "why can't you eat this?" "you always are this before" "I'm sure you could eat some and be just fine." "you eat too healthy now." I had to work on me and know this was a path God put me on for a reason, and I did what I had to do to stay healthy. If that meant bringing my own food, declining invitations where I knew I would be uncomfortable or put in comprimising positions or hosting more parties at our house so I could cook, then that's what I did. And slowly I captured ME again. Remember, we are still us, our plate just looks a little different than yours. And that's OK.